#WeekendCoffeeShare: 2015, July 12 – 25

Joining in for another Weekend Coffee Share

 

I have to apologize for missing last weeks Coffee Share, and, for jumping in and out on this week so fast.  It seems like it’s been so crazy around here that I can’t even recall what was happening last weekend that I missed out…  Or maybe it was that I was so exhausted that I completely spaced or skipped right over.  In any event, I’m sorry I missed.

As it is, I don’t even really have time this week but at least wanted to pop in and say Hi to you all and hope you all had a really good week and wish you all the best in the coming week.

I’m off with the family, this evening to a movie event and it’s gonna be time to get ready to go here pretty soon….  Ohh, almost forgot,  my son got home yesterday from his 2 week trip up to Oregon to see Grandpa.  He survived his week long (approximately) RV ride with great grandma and then the flight home which included a transfer.  Actually, he’s flown a number of times by himself and he did have an escort to help w/ transfer from one flight to next.  It really is great to have him back home…  Hard to believe school starts up here the end of this week (at least for the school he goes to).

I’ve spend way to much time and need to get going .  Hopefully I’ll catch at least a few Coffee Share’s this week.

#WeekendCoffeeShare: 2015, July 05 – 11

Joining in for another Weekend Coffee Share

Sorry to jump in and out.  To be honest, I nearly forgot all about doing our weekly coffee share in the midst of everything els I was working on….  If truth be told, there really ins’t much to share this week.

I’ve been spending a pretty good amount of time deciding on invites to a Mary Kay Facebook Party I’m planning to help me (possibilily) launch my career.    I think (but don’t know for sure) that we will be opening things up (to some degree) to allow for ordering for those who were not apart of the main party….  To be honest, I don’t know how this whole thing works.  Got a bit of learning curve  against me (and pretty sure I’ll end up driving my potential future leader absolutely nuts answering my questions.

I’ll have to let you know if I actually raise enough funds to launch my career as a Mary Kay Consultant, but (for now) the first step is to actually have the party….  WISH ME LUCK (I think I’ll need it).

 

I Don’t Hate People, I just (sometimes) Hate dealing with them.

For the most part I think people are pretty decent and good people.  I’ve made a number of friends on Facebook and Twitter that I would like to have the opportunity to meet in person. some day (yeah, wishful thinking)…  Plus I’ve made a few friends & acquaintances over the years.  Some I talk to regularly others  our paths cross  every once in a while….

Still sometimes I get tired of dealing with people, tired of being judged, tired of feeling like an absolute Fuck Up (forgive language there) in the eyes of others. I’m tired of having to ask others for help when I know, deep down, that they really don’t really want to.  Tired of knowing that people see us as complete failures.

I hate that we are considered to be less because we aren’t filthy rich with some sheepskin on our walls with some big long fancy title after our name.  I hate that we have never (and will never) measure up  and that we are stuck in a situation where that fact is constantly being shoved in our faces.

I’m tired of going to pay for our groceries and having the embarrassment of having the transaction authorization fail because there wasn’t as much Food Stamps (yea, that’s right – something to judge us on, being low-lifes on Food Stamps)  or money in the bank as we thought, and feeling like people are standing there judging us poorly {Okay in all fairness maybe they aren’t and likely they don’t care one way or the other}  I’m tired of getting to the middle of the month and realizing there’s still month left at the end of the money and wondering how the F we’re gonna get through without daring to ask for help (cause who the hell are we gonna ask anyway).

 

Just Going Through the Motions

Having one of those days where I can’t help but feel as if sometimes I’m just going through the motions of life and that it has no real direction or meaning to it….

Before I go further with this post, let me just clarify that NO, I have no thoughts of ending my life nor spiraling into the depression and despair….  Just feeling like my life has turned into somewhat of a failure and it feels like the things I try to do either fail or don’t take off.

I can’t seem to get a job anywhere and even if I did all I’d be worth is some low level  workhorse somewhere, working myself to the ground.  I’ve thought about going back to school but the only way to do that is Financial Aid ( yeah, gotta rely on F.A to even remotely consider going back to school — and the last time I did that I ended up screwed by running out of “funds” before completing courses).    I’ve thought about home businesses but a part of me feels like WTF bother – Not like I’d get any business.  Hell, I can’t even sell anything on Craigs List and when I do it’s basically peanuts (and at that I gotta go spending gas money, that we don’t have, to  meet the buyer somewhere).

The worst of it is feeling/knowing that you are a failure in the eyes of family —  I know it shouldn’t matter, shouldn’t hurt but it does….

And to add insult to injury – knowing that the whole reason you even have a roof over your head  or a vehicle is family that seems to regret doing so.  Kinda makes me wish we could just get a small travel trailer or motor home get rid of everything and just travel…  But then doing something like that would take money that we don’t (and feels like never will) have so I guess we’re trapped in our current “low-life” status.  Guess I should be happy with my lot in life.

#WeekendCoffeeShare: 2015, June 28 – July 04

Gonna keep this short…  I’m seriously behind on my writing for Camp NaNoWriMo.  Won’t go into details on that, you can head over to Taini Writes for more.  I did however wanted to share a quick cup of coffee for Part-Time Monster’s – Weekend Coffee Share.  I must say, I really enjoy these and Diane does a splendid job of putting it together.  Speaking of coffee…  For me I’m pretty set on 2 cups each morning.  That seems to be what my body likes.  I’ll sometimes go 3 (and there has been times where I’ve only managed to get 1 cup).  I told you before about my coffee smoothie (if you missed it you can read here).  I also made an interesting coffee-banana smoothie that wasn’t half bad.

Not really coming up with anything super exciting (or even unexciting) from this last week – that’s not to say I sat around doing nothing.  Seems the week is pretty much just a blur of the normal everyday crap that happens around here.

I really hate to run like this.  I hope you all have a super awesome week…   Like I said, WAY behind on writing goal.

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