#DailyPrompt: Imitation is Flattery – Lady Doctors That shouldn’t Be

Today’s Daily Post Challenge (at least I think it’s today’s) is based on the “imitation is flattery” idea.

Since I just got through Laughing my Frickin Ass off Reading Jodi’s blog (Snatch Monster, Muff Mauler and Road Rage. A Rant for all Seasons!) over at JodiAmbroseBlog), I thought  I’d use her for this exercise.

{Warning: Watch out for language below – if you have sensitive ears = turn away now}



There are some Lady Doctors (and by that I’m not referring to Ladies who become doctors but doctors who specialize in the study and treatment of the parts of the lady’s anatomy down in the nether-regions) who just should NOT be allowed anywhere near those parts much less be allowed to practice medicine in that area.

I had one of these such doctors for what was either my first or second (I strongly believe it was my first) of these tortuous visits.  As if I wasn’t already a FUCKING wreck with the thought of undressing and lying naked with my legs spread wide in front of a complete stranger (I wasn’t the kind of girl who was comfortable with her body and could openly undress in the girl’s locker room – I tended to make myself as small as possible ); Not to mention the thought of having that “down-there” area physically examined for the first time, Especially considering my “innocent” state of my body at the time…

So, anyway, the doctor comes in and is instantly gruff and hurried (would you believe this “Lady Doctor” was a female).  She tells me to lie on the examining table, instructing me to put my feet into the stirrups and scoot on down (till my ass felt like it was about to fall of the FUCKING Table)  So here I am legs spread wide, Ass half off the table and she RAMS her FUCKING hand clear up to windpipe (or so it felt that way to me) effectively knocking the DAMN wind out of me.  Needless to say i about came off the table. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! This BITCH Had to be a Women Hater or something.

Somehow, I managed to survive that tortuous Exam from HELL (though how I’ll never know).  On my way past the nurses desk I hissed that I never EVER wanted to have that BITCH (I think I did manage to refrain from that particular verbage in public – though my displeasure had to have been transparent) as a doctor again.

Thankfully when I went back the next year, that particular doctor was no longer practicing at that clinic and I was blessed with a wonderfully sweet doctor who was gentle and took her time (but in such a way as to not drag on experience).