As a child growing up I was often teased and didn’t really have many friends to speak of. I wasn’t all that popular though I got a long with most people well (at least I think I did)…. Now I’m hearing about how we should raise our son so he’s not different in anyway so that he fits in and won’t get teased. Hmmmmm you know what…. I was teased and I survived it and it many ways came out a stronger person. I learned to not be worried about whether I fit in with a certain crowd or not. I learned to not worry about whether or not I wore the latest styles. Not saying that teasing is nice and should be condoned, but it is a natural part of childhood (for some more than others).
Now bullying and outright meanness that is a whole other story. Thankfully I was never actually bullied. Yes I was teased a lot but never recall actually being bullied or anyone being deliberately mean.
We live in a world that I just don’t understand. Where being depressed or hyperactive (ADHD) is something that must be fixed with medication. Where be outspoken is a bad thing (unless you agree with the other person). Where being different is unacceptable and being like everyone else to be accepted is the norm. Why do we have to cover up our failures with acts of being perfect. Why do we have to pretend like we love when we hate? Why do we have to act like everything is ok when we feel like we’re falling apart? Why do we have to act like we are strong when we are feeling weak? Why do we have to feel bad about feeling bad about how our own lives are going because “there’s always people worse off”? Why is it wrong to have a bad day and want to be left alone to cry and not have people assume you are an anti-social person with problems?
I’m not saying we all have to go around accepting and loving everyone individually and that having strong opinions and beliefs are wrong, but why can’t we be who and what we are and go around pretending
When I write I can formulate my thoughts and my ideas more carefully. I can delete and rewrite and redo before sending it on…. writing gives me a chance to think things through. As I write I can look back at what I’m writing and decide that perhaps I should leave this or that out. Except for those rare occasions where G-d is giving me the words to say I often find myself saying the wrong things and embarrassing myself or making people angry. I’m like a bimbo whenever I open my mouth and I’m sure to be misunderstood cause I didn’t clarify what I was saying carefully enough (and in our rush rush gotta get there yesterday world how do we do that?) But in writing I can use all the words necessary to get my thought and ideas across.
Writing also gives a chance for a little what if in our lives (as long as we don’t expect fictional writing to be reality and keep it in perspective). We can have things be different (at least on paper) than they actually turned out.
Do I have a gift of writing and words? I don’t know…. My mother wrote children’s books and I’ve read a couple other things she wrote (confirmation and other diary stuff….. Perhaps my love of writing is through her… Whatever it is I like writing and am more comfortable with it than speaking