#DailyPrompt: “The Early Years” – Loss of a Mother

“Write Page three of your autobiography”

Hmmmm page three????  Haven’t even done page 1 or 2 yet….. How am I suppose to do page 3….  And are we talking in the literal sense or proverbially sense.  Either way the previous comment applies.  Haven’t written literal pages 1 or 2 and all I’ve got so far is my “past” and my “now”…  The future is yet unwritten – it can’t be- We don’t know what it holds.  Only G-d knows the answer to that (and he’s not tellin).

I’ll do my best to take a page from my earlier years (not sure how what when where) that page fits in).

Just a few months after my 5th birthday, my mother killed herself (yeah, I know, getting off to a morbid start aren’t we) via hanging.  Till recently I was always under the impression that I had been at a pseudo-gramma’s house, but that may not have been the case – But that isn’t important to this “story” as I don’t consciously remember anything (and can’t write about what I only remember sub-consciously.

I was told, while growing up, that I was sent to live with my Aunt and Uncle for a few months but this fact alludes me.  Apparently my mind has shut it out because I remember nothing about living with them  (just as I remember nothing of being home when Mom died.  Funny thing, the brain….  Funny how it “protects” by shutting out unpleasant memories……  Anyway, apparently this didn’t go so well for me and I was sent back home to live with my dad.  Now, I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for him to raise a young daughter who looked like the spitting image of her mother.

I won’t say that I’m over the loss of my mother because, quite frankly, that is IMPOSSIBLE.  You never get over a loss of a mother.  There were a number of times throughout my life when I’d really begin to miss her (like on my wedding day); But, life goes on.

I have a Facebook page created in dedication to my mother (an Artist & Author) with pictures of her artwork.  I have also begun to include information about Depression, PTSD,  Suicide, and other related topics.  Hopefully, in sharing information, we can become better informed

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4 thoughts on “#DailyPrompt: “The Early Years” – Loss of a Mother

  1. Thanks for being so transparent, Tena. My heart is with you and I respect you for choosing to love her, despite what happened. I can tell you aren’t pursuing and attitude of blame and hate, like some would find it easy to do, but instead you started a FB page to honor her, embrace her qualities, and perhaps help others who may find themselves in a downward spiral, as she did. You have a good heart, friend.

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    • Thank You, Veronica, for your kind words 🙂 It is my hope that I can reach out to help others. I don’t have a lot of experience myself in these areas, but hopefully what I glean from internet, etc will be of help others.

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  2. Wow. I couldn’t imagine growing up without my mother. That must have been hard, I agree about the mind– it’s strange how it works to protect our hearts. Interesting that your mom was an author– explains your fondness for writing, yes? 🙂

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    • Possible, very possible, I am like her in so many ways (I’ll have to send you a couple pictures sometime – you’ll see what I mean)… Also have a lot of same mannerisms. Onlything is I didn’t get her creative flair for art work.

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