Two Relationships

Do you ever really get over a relationship (I hesitate to call it that) where the guy was crude & pushy (pushing you further than you were willing & ready to go in the “relationship”).  In some ways I believe you do; But, at the same time when I look back at an old diary of those times I realize that it had a profound effect on later relationships.  I can’t be sure (I’m no psychologist/psychiatrist) but I think that, in some small ways, it even has an affect on my life today.

The relationship in which I speak was one that took place way back in my younger (college) days, close to 20 years ago.  The memories of that relationship are very distant…  I can’t even picture the guy anymore.  If I am to be completely honest my own uncertainty when it came to guys and relationships, back then, probably caused some problems.  But still the constant pressure and lack of concern for my feelings did not help matters any.  No, nothing actually happened and he never actually crossed any lines (unless you count the constant pressure he put on me and the crude jokes that were made way to personal for my liking.  I left that relationship feeling a general distrust of guys and for the longest time had a hard time trusting them for awhile after that.

I was blessed and lucky that the next relationship I had was with a guy who was kind & caring and whose patience and love helped me through this.  He was first and foremost a good friend, in fact one of my best.  Before we even started going out, we were friends.  It saddens me that we are no longer friends today.  Unfortunately, after we broke up, we let the friendship sizzle out and went off on our separate paths.  Life has gone on and I am now married (to another guy) going on 16 years.

Yes, I guess you could say, you do forget but never completely.  Past relationships somehow have a way of affecting future ones.

Guys, if you truly love your women you will treat her with love and respect and not put pressure on her just assuage your own needs.  If you love her, then she is worth waiting for.  And remember, if your not thinking along the lines of forever – then you might just be ruining her (and your) true happiness down the road.

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